eonia i mnimi - may his memory be eternal

not even 24 hours after last writing about misi bacsi, my dear uncle passed away. i am very sad, and i feel deeply for my aunt, but at the same time i know that misi bacsi suffered SO much in the last year that in a tiny sense, it is a relief. :-/ yesterday morning, when i was talking to j and nagymama on the phone, nagymama started saying how difficult things were, and obviously that was no understatement. what stands out in my mind though, was noonie's eternal optimism... helping nagymama - and horvath iren - try to see what little happiness there was in mezoszemere. and so the picture... morzsi's little house with flowers. same with misi bacsi's memory. :-)

i wrote some time ago about my little dog morzsi and how i'd miss him... i wrote about grandpapa... ilonka nene... i feel like it's becoming quite an extensive list. i was talking to mama this morning when i found out about misi bacsi... today is also the 12 year anniversary of nagypapa's passing. for a person like me who is so overwhelmed by the concept of change - nevermind death - this has been a difficult october 1st.

i guess i should get back to work :-) i have a paper due tomorrow, a midterm wednesday, and papa and mama arrive for parents weekend on thursday. thinking about everything that has happened today sort of puts things in perspective, and it makes me happy that i spent a few minutes antitasking with my housemates, laughing with nugget, talking with ivy's mum... i don't like thinking in terms of "in the end..." but why not? if in the end what i remember best are those wonderful moments, and not how i should have spent an extra half hour on a philosophy paper, i think i'll be just that much happier for it.

some happier memories of misi bacsi... maybe noonie can enjoy them, otherwise at least i know i will. :-) my favorite "memory" is something i don't remember, but saw in a photograph. misi bacsi and i on christmas when i was really little. hehe wearing little blue footy pjs, sitting on his lap by the christmas tree ~ watching F1 with papa and him, pretending i was schumacher. ~ silvas gomboc! ~ playing soccer with him and lali bacsi near the water tower ~ seeing his face this christmas when i gave him the civil war coin i found in the parking lot of the outing club. sometimes you can see in someone's face that they really enjoy a present... misi bacsi LOVED old coins. even though he was so sick, horvath iren said he went straight home and started working on the coin. and what makes me happiest, is just the fact that i found the stupid little thing accidentally. :) such small little bits of happiness...

anyway. i could go on. misi bacsi said last christmas that he wouldn't be around for 2006, and i don't think any of us wanted to believe him. from my selfish little perspective, he could've waited another two months :-). i was lucky to have such a loving uncle, and i am grateful to have all the wonderful memories of him.

nyugodj bekeben kedves misi bacsi.