last night: wonderful/terrible

didn't call nagymama this morning. arg. i went to bed at 3 and woke up at 9 but i just couldn't call for some reason. my mind wasn't in hungarian mode, i guess. now i'm at little dog reading for enviro science (how fun) and just thinking. last night was 90% amazingly fun and 10% shit. haha i was supposed to go contradancing with holly/kruik et al. but i had the fabulous idea that i'd drink milk. aaand i got sick. anywho. later i went with erica to laurel and youree's bday party. soo much fun! hanging out with jesse and heather, we began to plan our international wine gathering (with togas!)...so many fun ideas. i am so thankful to have friends like those three. and to imagine that i only met jesse through heather this year. there are so many wonderful people that you don't get a chance to meet till their last semester haha, it amazes me. post laurel's was a bit strange (understatement). a confused mess. i got to see armband though! basically though that portion of my night was the epitome of my fears expressed in my last entry. what am i doing? is this all worth it? i'm in need of just one minute of omnipotence to figure this all out. all i know is that the happiness derived from all the wonderful moments do not justify how i felt last night. since i love trusting my performance on chinese exams to learning through osmosis, perhaps i should leave this to be resolved through my incessant wishing on stars. (probably not) honestly, i should just become a nun. :-P